Life. Go away.

No joke. Seriously. I'm SO sick of life constantly shitting on me. I've done nothing wrong, at least, I don't think I have. Yet, constantly, I want to just curl up in my bed, and stay there forever. Nothing makes me happy anymore. Absolutely, positively nothing. And I'm not sure if it's because of the weather like everybody seems to think it is, but I'm always sad. Randomly, in the middle of the day, I'll start crying, and when I start, I can't stop. That's what the worst thing about all this is, is that it won't go away. I've had this happen before, but not for so long, it's been weeks now.
K. I lied. The worst thing about all this is the stuff I say to people. I say the meanest things. Things, that, when I look back on them, I don't even know why I said them. I hate myself for things that I said. I'll say things bother me, but when I look back on it, I feel like I wouldn't, but then, when and if it happens again, it bothers me. It's weird. Confusing. Hard to explain. But all I wonder nowadays is if I'll ever have myself back.